Spread the love
by LunethPerson
Summary: "It was a day mentioned with much horror to the nations. In fact, not many mentioned it but rather just decided to give France a punch when they thought about it."  What happens when France gets his hands on a love potion?  Rated T for swearing and France
1. The Weapon

Okay! I can post stuff again! Now I can post this.

Russia: (Holding wires and such) I am sorry komrades, I tried.

Estonia: (with a laptop) Rats...

Japan: (At his computer) Oh no...

Sealand: (At his computer too) Not even I could stop it?

Well, I was having second thoughts about posting this, but I had already said I would so...

This is kinda for all the people who had reviewed and asked for pairing stuff. I don't exactly do pairings, but this is pretty much as close as I'm going to get.

Anna: I'm not getting put in this fanfic, just so you know I refuse to be in it.

Hm...we'll see.

I don't own Hetalia.

000

It was a day mentioned with much horror to the nations. In fact, not many mentioned it, but rather just decided to give France a punch when they thought about it.

It was the day he got his hands on the ultimate weapon.

Love potion.

It all started out innocently, according to him. He was just going to put a little in Britain's tea…

"That's not bloody innocent!"

Ahem…Yes well…

000

France crept through the bushes, finally finding his target. A table outside, where a teapot rested.

Britain would be here soon, so he needed to act quickly. The nation skittered over and poured just a few drops into the pot. He wasn't even sure if it would work. I mean, c'mon, love from a bottle? But he wasn't going to miss such a chance.

He quickly hid in the bushes. The victim would fall in love with the first person he saw. It was one-sided, and temporary, but that was okay with France.

The Brit strolled up to the table and sat down. The Frenchman blinked, there was someone behind the nation. It was…Germany?

The German took a seat opposite to him. They both had some papers and such. Britain poured tea for both of them.

"_Uh oh…" _Germany took a sip, for courtesy really. The Englishman prepared to do the same.

That was when France suddenly decided the table was a nice place to be.

"Why hello Angleterre! Fancy meeting you here!" He "accidentally" Shoved the teapot and cup on the ground. Britain stared at him.

"What the bloody Hell do you think you're doing! At my house?"

"I just thought I'd say hello…"

"What? Get out! Now!" Germany watched this all, a look of confusion on his face. France waved and ran off, quickly hiding in the bushes again. The Brit sighed.

"Sorry about that."

"Does he…do zat often?"

"Not really. It makes me worry…Let's just keep working." They started discussing official things, trade and such. France watched from the bushes.

"_Hm…Germany isn't doing anything…Maybe it doesn't affect Germans…or anyone…"_ The meeting ended and the German left. On a whim, the French nation followed him.

Not one hundred yards away, Germany started banging his head on a tree. France blinked.

"Nein! Nein! Nein! Not good!" Suddenly the Frenchman smiled.

"_Ohohoho…so it did affect him…Wait a second…" _He flash-backed to his run toward the table. _"Time to test something…"_ He stepped out toward the nation. "Shermany…Is there a reason you ahr doing that?" The country whirled around and his eyes widened.

"Vat are you doing here? !"

"Just passing through. What about you?"

"I…vas having a meeting with Britain…vhich you interrupted."

"Hm…" He suddenly got close to the nation. "So…are you feeling okay?"

"V-Vhy do you ask?"

"You were banging your head on a tree."

"Uh…"

"Here's another question:" He winked. "Are you feeling attracted to me?"

Germany's eyes narrowed. "So you **do** have somesing to do vith it!"

"Huh?" He grabbed France by the collar and started shaking him.

"Fix it! Fix it! Fixitfixitfixit…FIX IT NOW!"

"W-Well…" The nation was having trouble finding the ground. "I-It should be temporary…" He gave a grin. "Don't you like the feeling?" Germany frowned.

"I do not." And he hurled the nation above the trees.

As he flew through the sky, France had one thought.

"_Hey…I can see my house from here…" _His next thought was: _"It's time to spread the love! Who's next?"_

000

Who **is** next? This is a little different from my other stories because it **isn't written yet**. I'm waiting for people to ask for someone to get the love potion.

I'm sorry, I may not be able to do it, this could turn into some really bad disaster, but I wanted to anyways.

I'm not going to have anything serious, just funny stuff. Probably only one of them will drink it, since I don't want things to go too bad.

France: So...It's going to be mostly people running from other people?

Yes, and you getting hit several times.

France: Hm...

I don't like you okay?

I don't know how long it will take to post something again. Sorry.

I'm also sorry with the thing with Germany. I don't know why but I thought it would be funny.


	2. Russia

Wow, I wasn't expecting to have the next chapter so fast...

Anyways, psychokittenterror asked for Russia, so Russia I did. Plus some Lithuania and Belarus.

By the way, thank you ultimatebishoujo21 for also reviewing!

I don't own Hetalia. That would be cool, but a lot of work, and it wouldn't be half as good as it is.

000

France was still wondering who to drug first when he realized "French Airways" was landing.

"Uh oh-"

*Wump*

"Ow…" He got up and looked around. Where exactly had Germany thrown him? _"I think I went north…it's rather cold…"_ He looked around and found a flag. It looked like his, but sideways, and mixed up.

"_Oo…I think I'm in Russia…" _He grinned and decided to pay the nation a visit.

000

As he peered snuck out of Russia's house and found a spot to spy in the bushes, a tiny voice whispered to him. Was it possible, that the French nation had a conscience?

Oh wait, it was just the author.

_I'm not sure this is a good idea…_

"Hush, it's a great idea. Belarus has been after Russia for so long…"

_You could doom the world._

"Well, the potion will probably wear off before they do anything serious…"

_Don't count on it._

000

Belarus sat down at the table, she had invited her dear brother to tea. She was planning to pop the question, again.

Lithuania walked in. "Oh hi Belarus! How are you?"

"Go away." She ignored him. The Baltic took a seat next to her.

"Are you uh, waiting for Russia?"

"Yes, go away." She took a sip of tea while her other hand grasped a knife at her belt.

"But um, I was just talking to him, and he didn't seem to want to leave his room…"

Her head snapped up. "But I invited him here to tea!"

"Maybe he didn't hear?"

"Hmph…" She stared at him for awhile. Lithuania shifted nervously.

"Um…Belarus? Are you okay?" The tea and table went on the ground as the nation found himself on the ground, with Belarus on top of him.

With a knife.

"Eep…"He gulped. "Uh…B-Belarus? C-Can you get off me?"

"…I see it now…"

"H-Huh?" She leaned closer.

"Both of us! Russia can't say no to both of us! He likes you, so marry me, and we can marry Russia together!"

"…What? WHAT?" There was one main thing wrong with that sentence that Lithuania held above the rest.

Him, married to Russia.

"Ah…Um…I don't know…"

"You will say **yes**." The knife pressed toward his throat. In a panic, Lithuania did something he had never done before.

"RUSSIA HEEEEELP!" The door slammed open and the nation poked his head in. It took .3 seconds for Belarus to turn her head and see him. It took .2 more seconds for her obsession to destroy all love potion in her system.

Fortunately, it only took Russia .4 seconds to slam the door shut and bolt down the hall.

"Brother! Come back!" She ran after him, leaving a fairly traumatized Lithuania.

And yet…

"_Wow…she proposed to me…"_

Meanwhile, France rubbed his chin.

"Hm…Let me try that again.

000

Russia zipped into his room and locked the door behind him. He sighed and walked over to his bottle of vodka.

"_Odd, I do not remember it being open, or leaving it near an open window. Wait…"_ He frowned. Why the heck is this window open? It was **winter**. In **Russia**. The nation slammed the window shut before taking a gulp of the vodka.

*bam bam bam!* He half choked on his drink. "Brother! Brother I saw you come in here! Open this door!" Scratching was soon heard.

"G-Go away!" He gulped and opened the window. Which was worse? Winter in Russia or his sister?

He was halfway through the window when she got in.

"Brother!" He turned around, eyes wide.

Picture a match, then a tsunami. The match was the love potion. The tsunami was the primal fear of his sister. Like the match, the love potion died with a small *pist!* noise.

He jumped out the window and ran into the snowy forest, toward one of his many hiding places. Belarus chased after him. Neither nations had noticed France right under the window they had jumped out of, breathing like a scared chipmunk.

"O-Okay! That was…interesting…" He glanced at the now only slightly emptier bottle. "So who's next?"

000

Oh dear...

Belarus: I find him right? And then I get to shove that entire bottle down his throat right?

...No, I'm sorry.

The Russian flag is kinda like the French flag, but the colors are in a different order and the stripes are horizontal instead of vertical. But, those flags, along with Britain, Australia, Taiwan, Korea, Cuba, ect. are red, white and blue. Those patriotic colors that America loves.

Irony.


	3. America, Canada, and Kumajiro

Thanks for all the review and favorites guys! Here's another chapter thingy.

Demonic-Kat asked for Canada or America, so yeah.

I don't own Hetalia. I can't see why anyone would think that.

000

America walked and munched at the same time. In one hand was a burger, in another was a milkshake. His brother was next to him, unnoticed.

"*pant pant* Hey America?"

"*chomp munch chomp…*"

"America!"

"Eh?" He turned to where he thought the nation was. "'Sup Canadia?"

"You walk to fast…can we take a break?" He shrugged.

"I guess." They sat down at a nearby table. The American set his drink down and finished off the hamburger. Canada took a sip from his water bottle before setting it down himself.

"Phew…How can you walk so fast and so long?"

"You just need to exercise more!" They started arguing. The two were so preoccupied they didn't notice couple of hands from under the table pouring something into their drinks.

"Yeah well, whatever." America got up again, grabbing his drink. Canada took another drink of his water before getting up himself.

"Why do you drink water?"

"Because it's healthy."

"Hm" He took a slurp of his own drink and started walking.

"America! Slow down!" He glanced over his shoulder, but the Canadian was invisible as usual. He looked right through him.

Meanwhile, Canada was feeling funny.

"_I sorta feel like when Kirojuma does something cute, mixed with that feeling I get when I know France is doing something bad."_ Speaking of that bear, where was he?

A scream sounded from the table they had been sitting at. The two nations ran over to find Kumajiro, his teeth firmly locked on France's clothing.

"Get it off! Get it off!"

"France?"

"Kemigiro?" Canada pulled the bear off. "What are you doing?" The bear snorted.

"He was hiding. I found him."

"Well yes, he was…" He turned to the nation. "Is there a reason why you were hiding?"

"Um…Non…"

"I saw him put stuff in the drinks."

"What?" He nearly dropped the bear. Instead the country put him down while America clutched his throat.

"France did you poison us? ! No, I bet you put something worse in than poison!"

"Er…I did not but anything in your drinks. What a silly idea…Eheheh…"

"FRAAAANCE!"

"Eep" He took off. Canada started to chase him, but noticed that America wasn't moving.

"America?" The nation had picked up Kumajiro.

"Hey Canadia, I never noticed how cute your bear is."

"He is cute isn't he?" They decided not to chase France and instead spent several minutes staring at Kumajiro, bewitched by his utter cuteness.

000

Wow, just wow.

Not sure why or how it turned out like this. But hey, Kumajiro saved the day! At least for these two...

Who will be next on the list of victims? Not even I know.


	4. Britain

Sorry I couldn't post on the weekend! I was busy, and away from the internet.

Anyways, Demonic-Kat posted another request, so I did it. France is going after Britain again.

Thank you for all the reviews and favorites that keep me writing! :)

I don't own Hetalia. Sorry.

000

Britain sat face down on a bar, pretty sloshed. He faintly heard the door opening.

"Bonjour Arthur!" He growled and moved his head to see France.

"W-Wha'dya want frog?" He sat down next to him.

"You looked **so** lonely here. I wanted to keep you company!" Normally the British nation would be suspicious, but his brain was too fuzzy to see anything was up.

"W-Wha'ever. If yer gonna be bod'ering me, why'dn y'get me a…a'nother drink?" The Frenchman smiled.

"Certainly." He waved down the bartender and ordered a mug of rum for Britain. Holding it for a moment before giving it to the Englishman.

"*gulp gulp gulp* Ah…" He grinned and sat back, nearly falling out of his stool. That had to have been the best drink he had today. He loved it, and was happy that France had bought it for him.

So…Happy…

"…Arthur?"

"Mmhey France…"

"Arthur…You should call me Francis right now…"

"Neh…" He scootched up to the French nation. "I dun wanna…"

"…Arthur? Are you feeling okay?"

"I…feel…**great!**" He gave a lopsided grin. "'Ey France! We could rule da saven seas togathar! Join me!"

"…What?"

"C'mon…" He wrapped his arms around France in a clumsy hug. "Y'kno you wanna…"

"…Arthur…"

"Enough Arthar damn it! My name es da United Kindoms o Grat Brtan 'n North…uh…" He swayed slightly. "France?"

"O-Oui?"

"I don…feel so gud…"

"H-Huh? What do you-"

*BLARG!*

"Sacre bleu! My clothing!"

"Sorry uh…" Britain sat back, rubbing his head. "Hey wait…I hate you. I'm not sawy for dat…" The love potion was successfully flushed from his system, all over France. The French nation quickly ran home, taking off the damaged clothing as he went. It…startled some people.

"Mommy? Why is that guy naked?"

"Just keep walking honey…"

000

Sorry France!

France: ...You are not sorry.

Nope. By the way, he was using the human names to avoid...attention. Britain was too drunk to realize this.

Translations

French

Bonjour: Hello

Sacre bleu: Sacred blue, an expletive


	5. Sweden! Finland?

Here we go again!

Wow! I got so many requests. Thank you everyone!

First up is Super Paper's request for Sweden. I'll hopefully have the bad touch trio coming up soon! Then Poland.

I don't own Hetalia.

Britain: Then stop torturing us!

It's not torture.

Britain: You gave that frog a bloody love potion.

Which you threw up on him.

Britain:...I suppose...

000

Sweden's eyes scanned the paper, looking to see if anything of interest was happening.

"Hm…" He heard Finland entering the room behind him.

"Hey Su-san…"

"Hn?" Two arms wrapped around him, making him tense up. "Finln'd?"

"I don't know why, but I feel kinda funny…"

"_More than a little funny…"_ The Nordic moved his head and found Finland near his shoulder. The nation had a glassy look in his eyes.

"I kinda feel like…I want to be your wife. Just for a day maybe…"

"…What?" Finland had just agreed to be his wife. This was new. It was also nice for the Swede…

But what kinda husband would he be to take advantage of this moment? Something was obviously off about the Finn.

"Finln'd…Have y'been drink'n things?"

"Um…" The smaller nation tilted his head back. "I had some eggnog a few seconds ago…but it wasn't the alcoholic kind!"

Sweden decided he should check this "non-alcoholic" eggnog. He got up and Finland hugged his arm. How was he going to get to the kitchen like this?

Sealand ran into the kitchen. "Papa! That jerk Britain said I'm not a nation! Can you go beat him up with you pole and-huh?" Sweden was standing at the table, calmly checking the expiration date on a carton of eggnog. Finland was hugging him around the waist. "Uh…" The taller Nordic looked up at him.

"I'think y'mom drank some bad e'nog."

"Uh…okay…" The micronation stared a few seconds, then walked out the door. Sweden frowned and adjusted his glasses.

"_The eggnog's fine…"_

"Su-san~! Su-san~!"

"_But Finland isn't…"_

"Su-san~! Hall om mig nu!" Finland seemed to be trying to speak Swedish now.

"No, you'll regret'dis lat'r."

"Aw…" He started singing in Swedish. The lyrics made the stoic Nordic blush.

Meanwhile, France giggled from the window. It wasn't exactly what he had been expecting, but people would pay big for this video.

"_So who now?"_ He glanced at the bottle and realized with joy that you could put in on food as well. _"This opens up all sorts of ideas."_

000

Uh oh...What's he planning now?

Can anyone guess what song Finland is singing? It's in Swedish, and what he said before is a hint.

Translations (By the way, don't trust these wholeheartedly.)

Swedish

Hall om mig nu: Hold me now.

Man Finland you are going to regret that if you remember it...


	6. Frying pans and Hair curls

We have two victims today!

I've been getting more elaborate with the chapter titles. The previous one was supposed to be "Su-san~! Finln'd?" But I couldn't do that.

And wow! Almost twenty reviews! Thank you everyone!

psychokittenterror asked for the rest of the Bad Touch Trio, so...here we are!

I don't own Hetalia.

000

France peered at Austria and Hungary from the window. They were sitting down to tea and snacks. The nation watched eagerly, video camera at the ready.

Austria took a sip of tea, Then glanced out the window.

Then checked his watch.

Then adjusted his glasses.

"_Look at Hungary. Look at Hungary…"_

"France? What are you doing here?" France jumped and looked to the left. Prussia was sitting against the wall, under another window.

"Bonjour Prussia, spying again?"

"It isn't spying! It's…blessing those two sissies with my awesomeness without them knowing."

"I…see…"

"So, why are you here?"

"Well…" France explained the situation to his friend. His eyes widened.

"Are you serious?"

"Sh…" The German grinned.

"Keesekeesekeese…That's pretty awesome. Can we go put some in West's beer? Or maybe…" What the two nations didn't know was that Hungary and Austria were walking toward the window, wondering who was spying on them.

"Prussia? France?"

"Eh?" Prussia looked up and found Austria above him. "Uh oh…"

"Vat are you doing here? And vhy-"

"Quick question aristocrat: Did you look at Hungary after drinking that tea?"

"…Vat?" France grinned.

"I **do not** think so Prussia."

"Oh shit." Prussia jumped up and headed for the woods.

"Ohohohoho…Prussia is so shy-"

*kang*

Hungary had found her frying pan. She glared at the fleeing Prussia. "Do you think I should chase him?"

"…Hm…No, he is not worth it." Austria went back to the table and started clearing it. "I sink zere is somesing off in ze tea…" For some reason he felt like sparing the Prussian Hungary's might.

"Uh…okay…"

000

When France woke up, he found Hungary had dumped him in Italy. He found a note.

_Dear France,_

_Touch Austria with that love potion again I __**will**__ deep-fry you._

_-Hungary_

_P.S. I don't suppose you'll tell me where you found such a drink?  
><em>

He checked the bottle to find it a little emptier than he had left it. _"It seems Hungary took a bit…Oh well."_ He decided to see if Spain was at Romano's.

000

Romano put the fresh-baked pizza down at the window. Spain's hand reached toward it.

*wack*

"Ow Romano! Don't hit me with a ladle!"

"Don't touch the pizza b******!" He put the ladle in the sink to wash off the tomato sauce while the Spaniard sucked his knuckles. Neither of them noticed France adding his own topping to the pizza.

"…Can I eat it now Romano?"

"No! It's not for you!"

"Pleeeease…?"

"…"

"Pretty please with tomatoes on top?"

"…Fine damnit! Just so you'll quit whining!"

"Yay~!"

"**One** slice got it?"

"Right!" He cut the pizza and took a bite. "It's so good Romano!"

"Of course it is b******!" Romano finished cleaning up while the other nation finished the pizza slice.

"…Hey Romano?"

"What now?"

"Can I pull your hair curl?"

"WHAT?" The Italian slapped his hands over his head. "NO! What the Hell?"

"I really wanna for some reason…"

"No! Go be perverted with that French b******!"

Under the window, France frowned.

"But…but…"

"No!"

"Just a little?"

"NO DAMNIT! ! What's wrong with you?" Spain gave him puppy eyes, which only succeeded in getting him smacked with a large cookbook.

"…Please?"

"No!" Romano crossed his arms. "Not a chance in-"

*pull*

"Ack!"

"Sorry Romano but I really wanted to…"

"Chigichigichigi…"

"Que?"

"CHIGICHIGICHIGI-"

*WAM!*

"Erk!"

"You b******! You got pizza everywhere! Disgusting!"

"That's what happens when you head-butt me in the stomach Romano…" The Italian shoved a mop at him and stomped out of the room, calling over his shoulder.

"That room better be **spotless** when I get back!"

"Ehehehe…"

"Hohohoho…"

"Eh?" Spain leaned out the window. "Amigo? Why are you down there?"

"Oh bonjour Spain! I didn't know you were here!"

"Yes you did."

"Uh…"

"Did you have anything to do with what just happened?"

"Maybe?" Spain grabbed him by the collar.

"Then you're helping me clean this up!"

000

Ew...gross Spain...That's what you get for crossing Romano.

Next up is Poland! Then I also got another request...It's a surprise.

Translations

French

Bonjour: Hello

Spanish

Que: What?

Amigo: Friend


	7. Are you listening?

Change of plans, slightly. I'm going to have the next request I had gotten later, part of the grand finale.

Now, we have Poland!

Domo arigato for all the reviews and favorites!

Sorry about how short it is.

I don't own Hetalia.

000

"Hey Poland! The weirdest thing happened to me!" Poland looked over, a pocky halfway in his mouth, as Lithuania walked in.

"Did it like, involve Belarus?"

"Well, yes. How did you know?" The nation looked his friend over for any signs of broken bones or injuries.

"What happened?"

"Well…" The Polish nation continued eating while Lithuania told his story.

"And that's what happened…Poland? Were you listening?"

"Hm…"

"Poland?"

"Y'know Liet, you'd like, look totally cute in this skirt I got…"

"Poland! You weren't listening!"

"Uh…sure I was. Let me get the skirt…"

"I'm not wearing a skirt!" The nation had already run out of the room. He came back with a pink frilly skirt. "Poland, there is no way I am wearing that."

"But Liet~! You'd totally look so cute in it!"

"What the heck Poland? What's wrong with you?"

"I don't know. I just feel like I wanna dress you up and make you all pretty~!"

"Poland! You're freaking me out! This is just like Belarus was!"

"Put on the skiiiiirt!"

*Wam*

"Ow! Ack!"

*shump! Click! Bam!*

"See Liet! You're like, totally cute now!"

"Poland! !"

France ducked down from spying at the window and covered his nose, which was bleeding like Hell.

"Ohohohoho…"

000

Oh dear...

No translations today! :)

And...that's it. Hopefully I'll get some more suggestions.


	8. Annoying brothers

OVER TWENTY REVIEWS! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

*cough* Anyways, I also forgot to mention it up here. Good job LuLeo for guess the song Finland was singing correctly. It was Hall om mig.

Korn4457 requested America and Britain, or Italy and Prussia. So I kinda did both. I wasn't planning to, but I did.

I don't own Hetalia. Can you believe it?

Oh, and I think I'm doing Switzerland next, since it was requested.

000

France snuck in using the window that Prussia had taught him how to open without a key needed. He heard a shower running.

"_That must be Germany…"_ He made his way to the kitchen and found a glass of wine. _"Odd…Germany does not strike me as the type to drink something so refined, or to leave glasses out like this."_ He decided to experiment a little, and poured in about enough to fill say…a tablespoon. It was a lot more than what he had put in before.

Hearing someone coming, he quickly dived through the window.

"Ve? Germany? Is that you?" Italy entered the kitchen and looked around. "I thought I heard something…Oh well~!" He saw his glass of wine on the table and took a sip.

"Hm…Tastes a little sweet…"

000

Germany smoothed back his hair, still slightly wet from his shower. He had finally stopped feeling…funny.

"_Which means I can finally plan that Frenchman's murder." _He sat down and opened his book. A few minutes into peaceful reading two arms hooked lightly around his neck and a soft "Ve~" floated from behind him. He frowned.

"Italy, vat did I tell you about personal space?"

"But Germany…I really wanted to hug you…"

"Zat is no excuse." He put the book down and stood up. Preparing to give the nation another lecture.

However, as soon as he turned around the Italian crashed into him with another hug.

"Ach! Italy!"

"Germany~!" What was wrong with him? The Italian was being even more affectionate than usual. He shoved the country off him.

"Italy! Stop doing zat zis instant!"

"But…but…" Italy looked on the verge of tears. "I'm just feeling so…"

"Vat?" Germany rubbed his head. _"Don't tell me it's happening to him too…"_ The nation scooted up to him. It was rather sudden and the German jerked back, where he tripped over the coffee table.

"Ach!" His hand jerked out for balance.

*Pull!*

"Eep!"

"Sheisse!" He yanked his hand from the strange hair curl on his friend. Still off balance, the nation hit the ground with a thud. "Zerdanmnt…"

"G-Germany…" The nation groaned and raised his head. Lying halfway on a coffee table was not a comfortable position.

"Sorry about zat…"

"Can you…do that again?"

"Vat? Vhy vould you vant me to pull your hair?"

"It kinda felt nice…"

"Italy, getting your hair pulled isn't nice."

"But…it felt nice when you pulled my curl." Germany tried to sit up, rubbing his neck.

"Italy, you aren't making any sense." Something brushed his nose. He blinked and found Italy one inch from his face.

Repeat jerk-and-fall.

"ITALY! VHY DID YOU DO THAT?"

"I'm sorry Germany!" Italy bent down to help him up, but somehow ended up tripping himself.

"Ita-!"

*crash*

"Italy?"

"Yes?"

"Get off me."

"Why?"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE ON TOP OF ME AND I WOULD LIKE TO GET OFF THE FLOOR AT SOME POINT AND GET BACK TO READING AND MAYBE KILL A CERTAIN FRENCH NATION!"

"Ve?" He obviously didn't get much of that. Instead, he decided to hug his friend again.

"ITALY FOR THE LAST ******************** TIME! GET YOUR ******ing *** the ******* OFF ME *******!" Germany heard the door opening and looked up.

"Hey West? Are you in-" Prussia stopped and took in the scene before him, then he grinned.

"Keesekeesekeese…sorry to bother you…" He prepared to turn around and probably find a camera.

"BRUDER! GET BACK HERE AND HELP ME GET ITALY OFF ME!"

After some shoving, swearing, teasing and "Keese"ing, they got the Italian of Germany. Prussia held him by the collar to prevent more hug-attacks. His brother rubbed his head.

"Okay…okay…I sink zis is France's fault."

"Oh come on West, you can't blame him for everything."

"Vell I'm blaming him for zis." He frowned at the Prussian. "I don't suppose you know anything about zis?"

"Uh…No…"

"Ja, you do."

"Look, you want me to try to put him back to normal or what?"

"You have an idea?"

"Sure" He carried Italy into the kitchen and picked up a glass of wine on the table. Putting him down, he threw it in the country's face. Germany gaped.

"Vhy did you do zat?"

"Maybe it'll work." Italy coughed and rubbed his eyes, then blinked several times. Prussia grinned.

"See? He seems fine no-" That was when the Italian launched himself at the nation. "Ack! What the Hell?"

"Ve~! I wanna hug you Prussia!" Germany groaned and yanked Italy off his brother.

"Vell, it verked in a vay…"

"Hey! For you maybe!"

"Maybe? Vat do you mean by zat?"

"W**e**ll…" Germany frowned, then let go of Italy.

"Ve!"

*glomp*

"Sheisse! Get him off me!"

"I zought you **liked** zat sort of stuff."

"Weeeest!"

"Ve, ve, ve, ve, ve…"

"Damn it! Get off me!"

"But I don't wanna…"

"Damn you France!"

"Ha! So it is his fault!"

"Shut up." Prussia heaved the Italian off him. "Italy, wake the Hell up."

"What? I'm awake Prussia…and I wanna hug you…"

"That's great kid." He started to back up. "But…no hugs right now."

"Why not?"

"Because it's awesome to be alone."

"I don't think so…" Italy started to inch toward him. "Big brother France says it isn't. He also taught me this-"

"Bye West!" Prussia broke for the door. The Italian started to follow him but Germany grabbed him.

"Nein, I am going to srow (throw) water in your face now."

"Huh?"

000

"Britaaain!" America ran into the Englishman's living room. "I just spent the last couple of hours staring at a polar bear but after that I remembered that France was doing something and-huh?" He found the nation sprawled on the couch, the lights were off. "Hey Iggy, why do you have the lights out?" He flicked them on. Immediately the Brit curled up into a small ball.

"Ack! Turn the bloody lights off!"

"Uh…sorry?" He turned them back off.

"Ugh…Why are you here Sealand?"

"I'm not Sealand."

"No?" He blinked and squinted at the American. "Uh…Canada! What do you want?"

"Dude…Do you have a hangover?"

"No!" He clutched his head and groaned. "Okay, maybe a little…"

"You are so hung over right now."

"Oh shut up." The nation stumbled toward the kitchen. "I just need some tea…or ale…"

"Iggy! No ale!"

Britain haphazardly plopped a tea-bag into a mug turned back to his guest.

"So what is it?"

"Uh…I forget."

"Idiot!"

"Oh wait! Something about France…I think he was up to something."

"He's always up to something." The Englishman checked his watch. "What is it this time?"

"I don't know, but I get the feeling he's still up to something. Like he's doing something right now…" France quickly ducked away from the window. America had been too oblivious and Britain too hung over to noticed him adding the potion to the tea.

"Well, he isn't messing with me right now…" The Brit turned and took a swing of his tea, not remembering that it was a hot drink instead of ale. He coughed and grimaced.

America yawned. "Oh well…I guess I'll just go…"

"What? Already?"

"Eh…" It had been a miracle something had held the nation's attention for so long. "I'm hungry. Where's the closest Macdonald's?"

"You know, **I** can cook something."

"No, no you can't."

"W-What?" America blinked, surprised by such a...hurt reaction. He suddenly noticed the other country was on the verge of tears.

"Dude? What's wrong?"

"Y-You were the only one who would eat my cooking…"

"Uh…"

"Why can't you just have stayed little? !" The nation suddenly blurted out. "Why did you have to grow up and go away? !"

"What? Are you still annoyed by that? All your colonies went away…"

*Sob*

"Britain! You're freaking me out!" The nation stumbled forward and grabbed America's coat.

"Ugh…I feel funny…"

"Britain? I don't think you're hung over anymore. I think you're still dead-drunk."

"Oh hush…" He gave the American a clumsy hug. "I missed you…"

This was seriously getting bad. America decided he needed help. But who was close enough to help him?

The nation took out his cell-phone. Britain started clinging to his leg.

*rinnnng*

"America? Vat is it?"

"Hey Germany! How'd you know it was me?"

"Caller ID. Vat do you vant?" There was some weird background noises. America ignored them, guessing it was TV.

"Uh, Britain's acting weird. Can you come over to his house and help me out?"

"…Nein, sorry. I am…busy…"

"Busy?" America snickered. "It sounds like you're drowning someone…You aren't really doing that are you?"

"…Not exactly. Look, just splash some vater on his face. If it does not verk, zen run out the door. Oh, and if you see France, please hit him. Goodbye."

*Click*

Okaaaay…That was weird advice. But, it was the best thing America had right now.

"Hey Iggy, thirsty?"

"Uh…yeah! Let's have some ale~!"

"…No ale."

000

This...this will not end well, for any of them...


	9. Mine only

Hey guys! Sorry I disappeared for the weekend again! Here are two stories for apologies, and everyone drank the potion!

Switzerland was requested by psychokittenterror. Japan I just did for fun, because I've been meaning to.

I'm not sure this chapter is very good, sorry.

I don't own Hetalia...Nope...

000

France was about to attempt his most daring infiltration yet. He hid in the bushes, completely alert for anything that would sound like someone had seen him.

Stealthily, he slipped through a window and looked around wildly. Nothing.

Carefully, he crept to where a tea set sat on a table. He tipped a few drops into the kettle. The deed done, he slipped out the window and started for the trees.

*Bang*

"Eek!" He broke into a run, hearing more gunshots along with shouting.

"What the **Hell** are you doing in my house? !" Switzerland continued shooting at the nation, swearing at him in French, German and English, until they were off his territory.

"_I swear if that guy did anything to Liechtenstein…"_

"Big bruder?" He whirled around, hiding his gun behind his back. His sister was standing there, looking confused. "What were you shooting at?"

"Uh, nothing…"

"Okay…" She held up a tray. "The tea is ready."

"Great" They both sat down on a bench to enjoy the scenery.

"Your home is so beautiful bruder…" He blushed.

"Well, yours is too…Do you want to take a walk?"

"Okay" They got up and started walking. It took them to the French border. Switzerland's hand strayed toward his gun as he scanned for potential trespassers.

He spotted one. Some guy was running toward his borderline.

*Blam!* The person stopped.

"Ack! Hey Switzerland! I wasn't going to go on your territory dude!"

"I don't know that!" It was America. A dead America if he got any closer to his Liechtenstein.

…Wait what?

He scratched his head. Some might say he was just a **little** protective of his little sister. But he was feeling even more protective than usual.

Oh well, that's better right? He pointed his gun at the American.

"Why are you here anyways?"

"Uh…Well, first Britain was drunk then I called Germany and he said-"

"…Forget it, go away."

"But I'm not even on-"

*Blam!*

"Hey! I said I'm not-"

*Blam!*

"Will you stop shooting for a-"

*Blam!*

"I don't think that's lega-"

*Blam!"

"Okay! Okay!" He turned and ran the other direction.

Liechtenstein watched the whole thing, clinging to her brother's arm. She felt so safe around him…

"Big bruder…I love you…" Switzerland twitched slightly.

"Uh…me too…I guess…"

000

France laughed maniacally as he ran east. Who shall be his next target?

"_Hm…I know a certain Oriental that could use some romancing help…" _He made his way to Japan's house.

000

"Aniki~!" Japan opened his door an inch and saw Korea.

"Ah, Kunichiwa Korea-san. Can I help you?"

"I wanted to come over and visit!"

"I…see…Why don't you come in?" He let the nation in and started to make some tea. The Asian sat with his guest while waiting for the drink to be ready.

"So aniki!"

"Hai?"

"I was practicing Tae Kwon Do, which comes from Korea…"

"I am aware of that Korea-san."

"And I realized that your karate must be based off my Tae Kwon Do!"

"I…do not think so Korea-san…" Japan decided to check the tea. Finding it ready, he picked up the tray and brought it into the other room.

000

It was hard finding a window to spy through since the walls were all paper. But France managed to find a suitable place. He watched as they both drank the tea and continued talking.

Japan seemed find, but Korea kept fidgeting. The French nation watched closely.

Suddenly the Korean lunged across the table, shouting. "YOUR BREASTS ARE MINE!" In one fluid motion the other Asian gripped Korea's hanbok with one hand and used it to throw him over his shoulder. The nation hit the wooden wall with a thud.

"Korea-san…" He didn't answer. Japan stared at him for awhile then went into his own room. France sighed and started to walk away.

"I guess it didn't work on Japan…"

000

In Japan's room, the Oriental sat at his computer. He selected a dating game and clicked a "create a new person" option.

_Gender?_

Boy

_What is the name of this new character?_

He typed in "Yong Soo"

_Personality?_

Perverted, hyper, and immature.

_Appearance?_

He typed in all the characteristics of the nation unconscious in his living room. Once done he proceeded to have his character date and flirt with them.

Nothing weird here. Nope, not at all.

000

...Yeah...

I'm thinking of finishing up soon. It's getting stale.

Tae Kwon Do is a Korean martial art by the way.

Translations

German

Bruder: Brother

Japanese

Aniki: Brother

Kunichiwa: Hello

Blam: The language of Switzerland


	10. Love and Hate

Hey guys! Sorry I disappeared for the weekend again! Here are two stories for apologies, and everyone drank the potion!

Switzerland was requested by psychokittenterror. Japan I just did for fun, because I've been meaning to.

I'm not sure this chapter is very good, sorry.

I don't own Hetalia...Nope...

000

France was about to attempt his most daring infiltration yet. He hid in the bushes, completely alert for anything that would sound like someone had seen him.

Stealthily, he slipped through a window and looked around wildly. Nothing.

Carefully, he crept to where a tea set sat on a table. He tipped a few drops into the kettle. The deed done, he slipped out the window and started for the trees.

*Bang*

"Eek!" He broke into a run, hearing more gunshots along with shouting.

"What the **Hell** are you doing in my house? !" Switzerland continued shooting at the nation, swearing at him in French, German and English, until they were off his territory.

"_I swear if that guy did anything to Liechtenstein…"_

"Big bruder?" He whirled around, hiding his gun behind his back. His sister was standing there, looking confused. "What were you shooting at?"

"Uh, nothing…"

"Okay…" She held up a tray. "The tea is ready."

"Great" They both sat down on a bench to enjoy the scenery.

"Your home is so beautiful bruder…" He blushed.

"Well, yours is too…Do you want to take a walk?"

"Okay" They got up and started walking. It took them to the French border. Switzerland's hand strayed toward his gun as he scanned for potential trespassers.

He spotted one. Some guy was running toward his borderline.

*Blam!* The person stopped.

"Ack! Hey Switzerland! I wasn't going to go on your territory dude!"

"I don't know that!" It was America. A dead America if he got any closer to his Liechtenstein.

…Wait what?

He scratched his head. Some might say he was just a **little** protective of his little sister. But he was feeling even more protective than usual.

Oh well, that's better right? He pointed his gun at the American.

"Why are you here anyways?"

"Uh…Well, first Britain was drunk then I called Germany and he said-"

"…Forget it, go away."

"But I'm not even on-"

*Blam!*

"Hey! I said I'm not-"

*Blam!*

"Will you stop shooting for a-"

*Blam!*

"I don't think that's lega-"

*Blam!"

"Okay! Okay!" He turned and ran the other direction.

Liechtenstein watched the whole thing, clinging to her brother's arm. She felt so safe around him…

"Big bruder…I love you…" Switzerland twitched slightly.

"Uh…me too…I guess…"

000

France laughed maniacally as he ran east. Who shall be his next target?

"_Hm…I know a certain Oriental that could use some romancing help…" _He made his way to Japan's house.

000

"Aniki~!" Japan opened his door an inch and saw Korea.

"Ah, Kunichiwa Korea-san. Can I help you?"

"I wanted to come over and visit!"

"I…see…Why don't you come in?" He let the nation in and started to make some tea. The Asian sat with his guest while waiting for the drink to be ready.

"So aniki!"

"Hai?"

"I was practicing Tae Kwon Do, which comes from Korea…"

"I am aware of that Korea-san."

"And I realized that your karate must be based off my Tae Kwon Do!"

"I…do not think so Korea-san…" Japan decided to check the tea. Finding it ready, he picked up the tray and brought it into the other room.

000

It was hard finding a window to spy through since the walls were all paper. But France managed to find a suitable place. He watched as they both drank the tea and continued talking.

Japan seemed find, but Korea kept fidgeting. The French nation watched closely.

Suddenly the Korean lunged across the table, shouting. "YOUR BREASTS ARE MINE!" In one fluid motion the other Asian gripped Korea's hanbok with one hand and used it to throw him over his shoulder. The nation hit the wooden wall with a thud.

"Korea-san…" He didn't answer. Japan stared at him for awhile then went into his own room. France sighed and started to walk away.

"I guess it didn't work on Japan…"

000

In Japan's room, the Oriental sat at his computer. He selected a dating game and clicked a "create a new person" option.

_Gender?_

Boy

_What is the name of this new character?_

He typed in "Yong Soo"

_Personality?_

Perverted, hyper, and immature.

_Appearance?_

He typed in all the characteristics of the nation unconscious in his living room. Once done he proceeded to have his character date and flirt with them.

Nothing weird here. Nope, not at all.

000

...Yeah...

I'm thinking of finishing up soon. It's getting stale.

Tae Kwon Do is a Korean martial art by the way.

Translations

German

Bruder: Brother

Japanese

Aniki: Brother

Kunichiwa: Hello

Blam: The language of Switzerland


	11. Back in the USSR!

This one's pretty long. A few more chapters I guess...So what are the other three Nordics doing?

I read this comic so now I kinda like the idea of Iceland acting like this when he "erupts".

Guess what? ! I don't own Hetalia!

...Not much else to say...My last chapter hasn't gotten any reviews yet, so I'm going to thank everyone again for all the reviews for this story.

Thank you! Enjoy!

000

"Norway! Norway HELP!" The Nordic sighed and put down his book, wondering what it was **this** time that was making Denmark yell down the hall.

"What is it Denmark?" He called.

"It's Ice! He's acting **really** weird!"

"He probably just blew up again…" Norway got up and walked down the hall. "Just keep away from him!"

"I'm trying!" He entered Denmark's room to find the nation trying very hard to merge with the wall. Iceland had him backed into a corner.

"Denmark~…You're acting so funny…"

"Ice! You're the one acting funny! I have personal space you know!"

"Everything can be shared~."

Okay, this was weird, even to someone used to Iceland's outbursts.

"Iceland!" He snapped. "What are you doing? !" The younger Nordic turned around, annoyance on his face.

"Oh go away Norway. You aren't part of this."

"Yes I am. You're my little brother."

"You're just jealous~."

"No, no I am not." Suddenly Iceland grabbed Denmark's coat, making his yelp.

"He's MINE damn it!"

"Iceland…" Norway crept forward. "Calm down…"

"NO!" It was always futile to tell Iceland to calm down. If he's blown up then it will take awhile for him to go back to normal. But all the Nordic needed was to get a little closer.

"Gotcha!" He grabbed his younger brother and yanked him away from the paralyzed Denmark. Iceland wriggled crazily.

"Let me go you son of an Icelandic horse!"

"Nope."

"I'm going to go Eyafjallajokull on you're a**!"

"So uh, what's wrong with him?"

"I don't know." Norway examined the yelling nation. "Hey Iceland, have you eaten or smelled anything weird?"

He glared at him. "No…" He grinned "But maybe if Denmark asks me I'll remember." Norway turned to the other nation.

"You heard him."

"Eep…Um…Have you?"

"Just some licorice candy." He answered simply.

"Hm…"

Half an hour later Norway walked back into the room holding a bowl of candy. They had locked Iceland in his room.

"So?"

"The candy he was eating had some funny thing in it. That must have done it."

"Will it wear off?"

"Maybe…"

"I hope so. We can't just keep Ice locked in his room forev-What are you doing? !"

"Huh?" Norway looked up, a hand near his mouth. The hand that had recently been holding a piece of licorice. "What? I was hungry. And these things aren't so bad…"

"Meep…"

"…" Denmark pushed up against the wall again, waiting for the other Nordic to go crazy.

"…"

"…"

"…Hey Denmark-"

"AHHHHH! !" The older Nordic zipped past him and slammed the door shut. "SWEDEN HEEEEELP!"

"…What's with him?" He popped another candy into his mouth. "Guess he doesn't want any. I would've thought he liked them since I found them in his snack drawer…"

000

Lithuania ran into Russia's house and slammed the door shut, half his clothes were pink and girlish.

"Ha…Poland won't follow me back here…" Of course now he was at Russia's, but that was okay right now.

"Mr. Russia?" He looked around. "Is he not home?"

"L-Lithuania?"

"Huh?" The Baltic turned to see Latvia, at least he thought he saw him. Russia was hugging the boy, almost covering him completely.

"Hm~…Latvia you are extra cute today da~?" The little Baltic looked up at his brother.

"Please help me." He whispered.

"Uh…" Lithuania got out his cell-phone and called Estonia. "Hey Estonia? Can you come here? We have a problem."

000

Sweden opened his ringing cell-phone.

"'Ello?"

"SWEDEN!" He winced and held the phone at arm's length.

"What'do y'want Denmr'k?" He growled. "M'busy."

"FIRST ICELAND WAS ACTING WEIRD AND NORWAY CHECKED SOME CANDY AND SAID IT WAS BAD AND THEN HE ATE THE CANDY AND THEN-"

"Mm…"

"…Are you listening?"

"Th's great, S'ya." He hung up and continued walking up the pathway to a house.

"Su-san~?" Finland looked up at him from under his arm. "We are we going?"

"It's'a supr's."

"Really?"

"Mm-hm" He knocked on the door, then rang the doorbell, then knocked again.

"Hn…" He called the owner of the house.

"Uh hi, this is Estonia, I can't come to the phone right now…"

"Yes y'can. I'know th's ain't a'record'n."

"…Sweden?"

"Mm-hm. Where are you?"

"Um, I'm at Russia's house. Why-"

"Kay, b'right there."

"Wait, why-"

*Click*

000

Estonia blinked at his phone, then sighed and put it in his pocket. "Lithuania, Sweden's coming over for some reason."

"Really? Well, maybe he can help us." They stared at the poor third Baltic whom Russia had still not let go of.

"M-Mr. Russia? Can you please let go of Latvia?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm uh, starting to doubt he can breathe."

"…So?"

"Um…" It was kinda hard to reason with this guy. You either needed to be really smooth, or really stu-

"That's it!" Lithuania pulled out his cell-phone again.

000

Prussia whistled happily as he strode quickly, trying to put as much distance between himself and Italy.

"_Cause it's so awesome to be alone and not have anyone-"_

*Rinnnnng*

"_-Calling you."_ He flicked the phone open.

"Sorry West but I'm not coming back until I know Italy isn't being insane anymore."

"…What? Prussia, it's Lithuania."

"Oh hey, what's up?"

"Do you um, feel like coming to Russia's house?"

"…Goodbye."

"Wait! We really need your help!"

"Why?"

"It's Russia! He's acting really weird."

"Is he like, being really affectionate?"

"Yes! Can you-"

"No, I'm not going anywhere near that psycho. **Especially** when he's being affectionate."

"He's only being like that with Latvia. He's completely ignoring us."

"Then you should probably leave."

"Prussia, he's curled around Latvia like a freaking **cat**."

"…Keesekeesekeese…That sounds entertaining."

"Please come Prussia. I know you probably wouldn't want to set foot here again but-"

"Fine, fine. But you owe me so much for this."

"Thank you." Prussia sighed and put his phone back in his pocket, then checked to see if his gun was in his other pocket.

"This'll be fun."

000

Yes Prussia, because having half the USSR plus two Nordics while France is on the loose with a love potion is **very** fun.

In case you didn't understand, Iceland had suddenly blown up in the middle of the conversation, making him more violent or something.

Yes, I had to look up Icelandic Volcanoes to figure out how to spell Eyafjallajokull.

Uh...Translations...None.


	12. West goes East

Hey! Sorry for missing a day! I have no excuses unfortunately.

Though I do now have a noble tittle of Sealand.

Sealand: YES! Another person recognizes me!

Well Sealand, on all these funny documents, you call yourself an "Independent Sovereign State".

Sealand: ...I AM A COUNTRY!

Sure you are...I may own a funny certificate now, but I still don't own Hetalia

...Title fail...

000

Estonia opened the door and jumped. "Oh, hi Sweden."

"Hey." The Baltic found Finland shoved at him. "Cn'you fix'm? He's act'n weird."

"Really? How?"

"Su-san~…Don't you wanna be with me?"

"…Oh, Russia's acting like that too."

"Rl'y?"

"Yeah, come in." They walked over into the living room, where Lithuania, Russia and Latvia were.

"Hey Latvia~! It feels like you are vibrating!"

"Uh…"

"Hn…"

"Same thing right?"

"Mm-hm…"

"Su-san! Su-san! Pay attention to me~!"

"Finln'd…"

"Uh…Maybe if we…splashed water on his face? Did you try that?"

"No."

"Let's try it." They went upstairs, a few minutes later, the doorbell rang again. Lithuania jumped up.

"That must be Prussia! Hang on Latvia…"

"Wait!" He squeaked. "Don't leave me alone!"

"It'll be just a second…" The Baltic hurried out of the room.

000

France crept into the room and looked around. He saw a shot glass filled halfway with vodka.

"That will work…" He felt a little bad about Latvia, so maybe Russia should fall in love with someone else…

The nation was adding a few drops to the cup when a noise started him.

He jumped and the potion sloshed out, almost doubling the amount in the cup. "Oh crap." No time to fix it, the noises were getting closer. They were footsteps.

"Thank you so much for coming here Mr. Prussia."

"Whatever, so where's Russia?"

"In the living room with Latvia…" France quickly hid himself in a closet, peeking through the door.

Prussia and Lithuania walked in. The German glanced around nervously, not liking being here one bit.

"So is it bad?"

"He won't let go of Latvia. I think that's bad."

"Huh, sounds like my awesomeness is needed. By the way, what are you guys all doing here? Do the words "Declared independence in 1990" Mean anything to you?"

"Well, I was at Poland's but…"

"Whatever." Prussia grabbed a shot glass on a table and took a swing. He never liked vodka, but he really needed a drink right now. Funny...It tasted sweet, but Russia hardly ever added stuff to his vodka, preferring to drink it alone.

"Hm…So where is he?"

"Right through here…" Prussia opened the door and walked inside. Russia looked up.

"Hm? Little Preuβen? Why are you here?" Latvia spoke up.

"P-Prussia! Please help me!"

"…Russia, you need to let go of Latvia."

"Why?"

"Why?" The Russian noticed the other nation was shaking slightly. France gulped from just behind the door. "Why?"

"Da, why do I have to let go off him?"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE MINE ZERDANMNT!" Russia was so surprised at the outburst that he did indeed let go of Latvia, who made a beeline for Lithuania. Sweden, Estonia and Finland came downstairs, wondering what the noise was. Finland seemed better, he wasn't clinging to Sweden anymore at least.

Prussia had this funny grin on. It wasn't his usual smirk, but more of an insane not-in-control grin.

"Uh Mr. Prussia? Thanks for getting Mr. Russia to let go…That was just to make him let go right?"

"…"

"Mr. Prussia?" The German started walking forward.

"Keesekeesekeesekeese..."

"Little Prussia, you are acting very strange. That little laugh of yours is sounding like mine…"

"Uh oh…" Lithuania once again got out his phone.

000

"Ve…Germany? Where's Prussia?"

"Zat information is classified." Germany grunted. _"Plus I actually don't know…"_ He decided to call his brother.

*Rinnnnnnng…*

"Yo! This is the awesome Gilbert! I can't come to the phone right now so…" The German grumbled as he flicked the phone off. "It is just like bruder not answer his phone…"

*Rinnnnnnng* And now **his** phone was ringing. He checked the number.

"_Lithuania?"_ He shrugged and answered. "Hello?"

"Mr. Germany?"

"Ja?"

"Um…It's Prussia…"

"Vat? Do you know vhere he is?"

"Uh yes, he's at Russia's-" The nation's eye twitched.

"Vat? ! Did you just say he's at **Russia's house**?"

"Um yes…"

*Click*

Germany hung up and started walking toward the door.

"Ve? Germany where are you going?"

"Russia's house."

"Is Prussia there?"

"He better not be…"

"…" The Italian followed him anyways.

000

"Mr. Germany? Mr. Germany? He hung up…"

"But there's a chance he's coming right?"

"I think so…"

"That's great because I think Russia's starting to lose…" Prussia was currently wrestling the Russian, who was keeping him away with his pipe.

"This is odd. Little Prussia is reminding me of sister…"

"Keesekeesekeese…" The German was laughing non-stop.

"Hm…I think he will not be happy when he wakes up da?"

"I AM GOING TO CLAIM YOUR VITAL REGIONS!"

"My what?"

000

"Ve? Germany are we there yet?"

"Nein."

"…How about now?"

"Italy, do you **see** any snow?"

"No…" Germany stopped, seeing someone up ahead. He sighed.

"Sheisse I do not have time for this."

"Ve?" The Italian looked around his friend. "Hi Poland!"

"Hey Veni." The Polish nation frowned at Germany. "Like, what are you doing here?"

"Going to Russia."

"Well, you totally can't go through my country. Why do you want to go there anyways?"

"Because bruder is zhere."

"What? But doesn't he like, hate Russia's house even more than I do?"

"Ja, vhich is vhy I sink somesing is vrong."

"Did he like, call you?"

"Nein, Lisuvainia-"

"Wait, Liet?"

Germany was getting more irritated by the moment. "Ja."

"Hm…" Poland seemed to be thinking. "…Fine, since I'm totally cool, I'll let you pass through. But I'm coming."

"Okay…"

000

I wouldn't be surprised if ever since the Berlin Wall, Germany has been very protective of his older brother, especially with Russia...

The Baltics all declared independence around that time. At the same time too.

Prussia's going to be saying that famous line several times later...(Though Austria said it first. You can't deny it Preuβen.)

Translations (Note, **don't use me for references. I'm probably wrong.**)

Russian

Da: Yes

German

Zerdanmnt: Damnit

Bruder: Brother

Ja: Yes

Nein: No

Sheisse: Shit


	13. A little help from Eros

Okay, this is a long chapter for this story but I wanted to get it over with.

This is the last chapter. Thank you everyone for all your wonderful and evil suggestions. I had a little too much fun writing this...

By the way. I've stopped spelling the German swear both Prussia and Germany like to use so much as "Zerdanmnt", instead I'm using "Verdammt". Because I can't find anything that would spell it like that.

So...I should probably change all the times I used that swear.

...Which is a lot. Thanks guys.

Germany: It isn't our fault.

I don't own Hetalia.

By the way, Prussia chasing Russia around was a request.

000

The Baltics jumped when they heard the door slam open.

"BRUDER! VHERE ARE YOU? !"

"Hm, I think Germany's here."

"He doesn't sound happy…" The blond nation strode into the room, followed by Italy.

And Poland.

"Eek! Poland?" Lithuania watched him nervously. "What are you doing here?"

"Hey Liet~!"

"Ugh…"

"Bruder!" Germany had found his brother tussling with Russia. He apparently couldn't tell the difference between "Prussia attacks Russia" and "Russia attacks Prussia".

"GET AWAY FROM MEIN BRUDER YOU ARSCHLOCH! !" He ripped Prussia away from the Russian. The German was holding on so tight it took him a second to realize the nation was trying to get free.

"…Bruder?"

"Weeest! Let me go!" Germany's arms loosened, but he grabbed his brother again when Prussia ran toward Russia again.

"Bruder! Vat ze Hell are you doing?"

"I WANT RUSSIA'S VITAL REGIONS! !"

"…..Vas?" Germany shook his head. "Bruder, are you feeling okay?"

"Ve! Prussia!" Italy hugged him. The older German pushed him off then went for Russia again.

"Bruder stop! You are scaring me!" Prussia paused.

"I'm fine. I just wanna claim Russia's vital regions."

"Zat's vat vorries me."

"C'mon West…Why do you always have to be so un-awesome?"

"Since you got zis veird sickness everyone is getting!"

"Mr. Germany? Did you get it?" He flushed red.

"N-Nein!"

"Hahaha…West got it didn't he?"

"Shut up bruder."

"Let me at Russia."

"Nein."

"Ja!"

"Verdammt, you are going to regret zis later…"

"Let me go West. Ich liebe Russland!" Germany twitched, suddenly **really** wanting to kill France.

"_I __**know**__ he's responsible for this."_ The nation turned to Lithuania. "Zat's it. Lisuvainia."

"Uh, yes?"

"Go call everyone. Find out if any ozurs had zis…problem. Gazur zem here."

000

"Yo! Alfred here, what's up?"

"America? This is Lithuania."

"Sup?"

"Um…At some random moment, did you feel…affectionate? Or did anyone around you?"

"Uh…that's a pretty weird question dude…"

"Um…have you?"

"Well, I stared at a polar bear for like, two hours."

"Okay, can you please meet us at Russia's house?"

"…You're kidding right?"

"**Please** America."

"*Grumble* Fine…"

"Thank you." America sighed as he hung up. Canada walked into the room.

"Who was that?"

"Oh hey Canadia, when did you get in here?"

"…I've been here awhile…"

"…Anyways, It was Lithuania. He wanted me to come to Russia's house because of what happened with the polar bear."

"Oh…should I go too?"

"Uh, sure I guess…"

000

"Hello?"

"Hello Switzerland?"

"What is it?"

"Um…Was there any random time where you got really affectionate? Or someone around you?"

"…"

"Switzerland?"

"…"

*Click*

"Wait! Switzerland!"

000

"H-Hello?"

"Denmark? Is that you?"

"Y-Yeah…"

"Can you speak up? You're hardly whispering."

"Sh…"

"Um…Did you or anyone around you feel really…friendly?"

"Y-Yeah why?"

"Can you and them come over to Russia's house?"

"No…"

"Why not?"

"Because Ice is locked in his room, and Norway is somewhere in the house."

"What about you?"

"In the cupboard…"

"…What?"

"Um…You see"

"We'll be right over."

"Ack! Norway! When did you get on the phone?"

"I picked it up right after you did."

"So…you heard where I am."

"Yes, I did."

"Eep…"

"So…is there any reason **why** you're there? Iceland is still locked in his room."

"But…"

"C'mon…I'll keep Iceland away from you."

*Click*

*Click*

"Oh yeah, by the way. If you aren't at the door in five minutes, I'm hauling your sorry butt out of that cupboard."

*Click*

000

"Mrglrph…What is it?"

"Britain? Is that you?"

"Yeah…Ugh, what have I been doing for the past five hours? What do you want?"  
>"Have you been feeling really affectionate, or someone near you?"<p>

"What? I live next to that frog."

"Well, that isn't"

"Lisuvainia, give me ze phone for a second."

"Oh, okay…"

"Britain, zis is Germany. We are meeting at Russia's house to go beat ze crap out of France. Coming?"

"Don't you dare start without me. I'll be over in five minutes."

*Click*

000

"Hai, Honda Kiku desu."

"Japan? Is that you?"

"Ah, Herro Rithuania-san. Can I help you?"

"Um…I was wondering if you had felt really affectionate at some point…"

"…"

"Japan?"

"Ah! I was blushing because it is very hot here!"

"I…didn't know you were blushing. If you have, can you please come over to Russia's house?"

"Ah…I wourld be happy to…"

"Okay, I'll see you there…"

*Ping* "Well done Kiku! You got twenty love points!"

"What was that? I couldn't understand the Japanese...was that a video game?"

"Nothing! Goodbye!"

*Click!*

000

"Wei?"

"China?"

"Lithuania? What is it aru?"

"Have you been feeling affectionate to weird people?"

"Shenma?"

"It's a weird question I know, but have you?"

"What are you saying aru? !"

"Nothing! It's just-"

"He means have you felt like you wanna go hit on random people?"

"Prussia aru?"

"Yeah?"

"What's going on aru? Why are you on the phone?"

"'Cause West won't let me at Russia. See ya."

"Wait ar-"

*Click*

"What the Hell aru?"

000

"Hello?"

"Hungary?"

"Hello Lithuania! What is it?"

"Um…were you or anyone around you feeling…funny? Kinda lovey-dovey?"

"…"

"Hungary"

"Nope"

"Oh, sorry to bother you."

"It's okay!"

*Click*

000

"Hola?"

"Spain?"

"Oh hi Lithuania! What's up?"

"Did you feel really affectionate at one point?"

"*Groan* Si…then Romano punched me in the stomach and I didn't anymore."

"Well…can you come over to Russia's house then?"

"Okay~! I'll bring Romano too!"

*Click*

000

"Hello?"

"Hello Turkey?"

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Has anyone around you, or you, been action odd?"

"Uh…well Greece said he'd fix my economy, but he hasn't yet. The lazy kids probably sleeping."

"Oh, I see. Would you like to come over to Russia's house? I think we're going off to get revenge on France for drugging us."

"…Okay sure. See ya."

*Click*

000

*Rinnnnnng*

"Zzzzz…"

*Rinnnnnng*

"Zzzzz…"

*Rinnnnnng*

"Zzzzz…"

*Beep, one new message.*

"Zzzzz…"

000

Within an hour they had the rest of the Nordics, America, Canada, Britain, Spain, Romano, Turkey and Japan.

"Okay…does anyone know where France would be?"

"Hm…"

"Not a clue." They heard the door slam open. Germany blinked.

"Were we expecting anyone else?"

"Maybe Greece got my message…"

"Brother! I finally realized you weren't in the snowy forest anymore!" Belarus walked in. "I found some flowers! They can be on display at our wedding!"

"Back off crazy!" Prussia yelled. "He's mine!"

"…What?" The nation's eye twitched and a knife appeared in her hand. "What did you say?"

"Russia's mine! He doesn't love you like that anyways."

"You **dare**…"

"Uh oh…" The German pulled his brother farther away from the insane country. "Ignore mein bruder. He is not himself right now…Any chance you have seen France?"

"I saw him a few minutes ago walking south. Why? Was he bothering brother?"

"…Ja, he was."

"That rat!"

"Frog" Britain corrected her.

000

"Oh France~…" The nation froze and turned around. Quite an impressive number of nations were standing there. Germany was using both hands to hold Italy away from Prussia and Prussia away from Russia. Russia was holding onto Latvia while keeping away from Belarus. Lithuania was inching away from Poland, who had a skirt with him.

"Uh oh…"

"So France…vat's in zat bottle?"

"Uh…"

"Does it have anything to do vith ze events zat have transpired here?"

"Uh…"

"Do you think it is big enough for me to shove you into?"

"Eheheh…" The crowd shifted forward, so France of course, did a very clever thing.

He threw the bottle, giving it a slight spin. Potion gushed out everywhere while the Frenchman ran like a scared rabbit. The nations tried to avoid the liquid and ended up falling all over each other.

"Oh sheisse!"

"Damn it!"

"Eek!"

"No one open their eyes!"

Too late.

Things went bad quickly. Poland was on Germany and had Lithuania by the legs. Italy wanted to hug Japan but the Oriental didn't notice him in favor of staring at America. The American had Britain, who wanted to hit on Belarus. Denmark had landed on top and Norway and **wasn't getting off**. Estonia was asking Sweden why he liked Finland so much and several people wanted Prussia to seize their vital regions. However, the German was busy fighting Belarus for Russia, who was sneaking of with Latvia shoved in his coat.

"Poland, get off me. I vant to make sure bruder doesn't get near Russia."

"But look! I caught Liet!"

"Poland! Lemme go! I wanna hug Prussia!"

"…Poland, hold onto Lisuvania."

"Kay~!"

"Denmark, get off of me."

"…"

"Denmark, **get off of me.**"

"…"

*Boom*

Norway threw the other Nordic off with some magic. He landed near Iceland, which became a problem quickly.

"Denmark~…"

"Uh oh…"

"Hey Iggy~!"

"America get off me!"

"Aw…C'mon Iggy, who's better than me?"

"Belarus of course."

"Dude, that isn't healthy."

"Finln'd, cn'you get y'friend off me?"

"Not right now…I wanna go hug Poland…"

"Sweden! How come you like Finland more! I always win all the contests against him. Is it because I'm not a Nordic? I can be a Nordic! I'll change my flag!"

"P-Prussia…?"

"He's mine!"

"P-Prussia? I love you…"

"Hey, did you hear something?"

"Maple…"

"Get off me kid!"

"Ve…Turkey I wanna see your mask…"

"What's going on aru?" No one paid attention to China, who had just walked in on the scene. "Aiyaaa…I thought Lithuania's call was weird, but this is crazy aru. And it took awhile to get here. I'm thirsty aru…" He spotted a water bottle on the ground, half-filled. "That's work."

"Gulp gulp…"

The other countries froze as they watched China drink the rest of the potion.

"Gulp, ah…That was kinda sweet aru." He blinked and looked back at the crowd.

Suddenly, it didn't matter who loved who, or that someone was hitting on the other. All that mattered was **who did China see**? !

"Ch-China-san?"

"…"

"Dude?"

"…"

"China…?"

"..." The Chinese nation spoke calmly, as if telling a child it was past his bed time.

"Russia, you and I are going to stay together forever, get married, merge our countries, and f*** the child limit aru."

"…"

"…SHOVE RUSSIA FORWARD AND RUN FOR IT!"

"NO! HE'S MINE!"

"Nein! His vital regions belong to me!" They started fighting again, China joined in and Russia brought out his pipe.

Then…

"Aiyaa!" China winced and as an arrow flew right at him and hit him in the chest, it vanished on contact. "WHAT THE HELL ARU?"

Prussia swore, getting his own arrow, which also disappeared, not even leaving a wound. A rain of arrows found their mark on each nation, right in the heart.

"Ow!"

"Ach!"

"Eek!"

"Oh?"

"Bloody-!"

Russia blinked, then let Latvia out of his coat. Estonia let go of Sweden. Britain rubbed his head. Poland let go of Lithuania and got off Germany. One by one the nations stopped falling in love.

"Who? What?" They turned to where the arrows had come from. Greece was standing there, holding a bow.

"Lead-tipped magic arrows. It prevents love." He explained. "Borrowed it from my cousin." He shot one more arrow, right at Turkey's head.

"You already hit me damn it!"

"Just checking."

000

France ran into his house and slammed the door shut.

"Phew…I think I'm just going to hide her for awhile…" He heard an odd sound. It sounded slightly like a string being pulled taut.

"Eh?" He turned to see Greece perched on his windowsill, and arrow on aimed at his heart.

"Gold tipped." He explained. "This is for making me help Turkey." He let the arrow fly, hitting the French nation right in the heart and knocking him back.

"W-Wha?" He sat up to find Greece was gone. In his place was a cat.

A very attractive calico with beautiful fur…

The other nations spent the next few hours watching France chasing the feline. Japan filmed it, but that didn't mean it would become a highly popular video on YouTube of course…Just very likely.

When Hungary heard about it she sighed. "Oh…I missed a camera opportunity…"

The nation smiled. "Oh well, if I want some pictures there's always the bit I borrowed from him…"

000

And that's it! The long reign of terror is over! For now...

Like I said, Germany is protective of Prussia. Who's the older brother here?

Yeah, Greece's "cousin" is Eros, or Cupid. Don't mess with Heracles.

Oh, and don't worry. Greece would never let France actually catch the cat.

Translations (This took **forever**)

German

Bruder: Brother

Mein bruder: My brother

Arschloch: Asshole

Vas: What

Verdammt: Damn it (I think)

Nein: No

Ja: Yes

Ich liebe Russland: I love Russia (I had to make him say this.)

Sheisse: Shit

Hai: Yes

Honda Kiku desu: This is Honda Kiku.

Chinese

Shenma: What

Spanish

Hola: Hello


End file.
